The pain from everywhere and every minute...

It's been a long time...

and this will be my last post...

Well lately, I come to realize a lot of things.

I'm still not mature enough,

I'm still unable to think everything from more way,

I'm still not enough knowledge,

and I'm still unable to feel and vision other people's pain.

Well, I really got a big dream...

*A dream

that is too help every people in this world..

to travel every country in this world and experience their culture and lifestyle

and to share the pain*

But when I started to think about it one more time,

I cried....

Now I'm only realize that I'm far beyond to my goal.

I cried for the people that really suffer a lot since they born into this world..

I cried because other people cant live like I did..

I cried because the environment force them to do things that they really dun want to..

I cried because It's too late for people to realize their wrongs...

I cried because I really cant be a good guy all the times..

I cried because I still cant learn to take others pain

and share with them...

AND NOW,

I'm really cant stay it anymore,

I have to think of new ways to learn the truth,

I'm not going to stop by and learn what are only from the books..

That is the reason why I'm taking the course I'm going to learn...

This is the time I'm really need to be serious..

No more things that really waste my time..

Finally,I'm here to say one thing..

If u really thought that I'm a person that I'm really proud of myself

or a person that really always like to be a SOLO??

Feel free to think about it and say it,

if u really r happy about it,

u can say all of my bad thing or speak some vulgar gossip about me,

tats no problem about it,:)

everything I have done so far,I know the consequences.

But if I'm really did something wrong or said out somethings that will hurt both ur mental and hearth,

I'm  here to say sorry,

Sorry for everything,I did,

Sorry and sorry... if u really want me to apologies and begging u to forgive me,

call me or find me..

 I will do things as u pleased but nt the things that will hurt others

but myself...

I wont care anymore

and I'm really hate myself for being too sensitive about other feelings..

But I have to say it,

 thanks to this senses,

I know wat my dream r...

I won't give up or die

until the dream have come true..

Ya,no more updates

 from now on,

dun expect to see new post again

and start to delete me from ur list.

###

Stay happy...

###

My last words:

Sometimes dun put ur blame to others,u have to deeply understand everything then u can only judge the guy...

(###HUMAN ONLY ACT IF THERE'S ONLY REASON BEHIND OF IT###)

THX

New start

Exam week soon over ^^

Just left one more subject to go~

I think I really did a bad job this time.

Haiz~

Nothing to blame, just to blame myself not study hard enough.

Today really is a meaningful day,

I  did my maths badly,exam slip last minute loss,web page doom and my CGPA drop to the hell.

Wow really a wonderful day I ever have :)

Cause I realize a lot of things,

I know what I'm going to be after a bad fall

I know that I'm not the one that suffer all this time

N 

I know that a great person must willing to sacrifice itself to get their goals

Finally, I know what kind of sins I have made.

Really a good day that god want me know.

What ever is, we are going to have a new start after the day after tommorow....

Study or not???

*When I see you,

I run out of words to say.

I couldn't believe you,

that you that type of disaster,

that make me pain (argg~~) .

I see guys looking at you, N I don wan to bother you

Cause you're so annoying n make me pain

Can I burn you?Notes, just wanna to show you

That you always make me take panadol...

I see you in the school,you gettin' me down

I wanna burn you

I see you in the house, you showin hard words

I wanna trow you

You're so boring

So damm boring

Said you're so boring

So damm boring*

######

Still got 4 more days to the "doom" day...

In this very critical moment,I'm still continue lying my bed n play around.( pretty enjoy uh?)

 Last semester are much more better,

even I played during the so called "study week".

At least I still got the heart to study.><

This semester completely different,

just by looking at the lecturer notes,It makes me straight fall to my bed

"Langsung tak ada" mood to study eh T.T

Walao...

Seeing my friend everyday go to library,

taking notes run here run there,

really makes me feel "dying"

N I'm still  playing the whole day without even look at my notes...

God please bless me.

Last semester,I used up my luck in my exam

N now,how am I going to survive for this time???

My friend dated me to discuss math together n I'm still not prepare yet...

(Sorry guys, something happen in my nerve cell.)

###

Feeling what I study is completely useless.

N why the hell, exam always ask those question that required you to memorize the whole thing?

It makes me sick

Aren't understanding is the most important??

N what I studied will be useless if I really cant remember what I study for the last time.

Then why am I still studying?

Even you got a good result but If you really don't utilize in reality.

What is the point of study?

If you talking about science and maths,

then I will totally change my mind.

studying these subject is not just memorize,

It required you to think and imagine.

But if you talking about subject such as management study n moral... really omg

As I said, people with a good result in moral does not mean that they are really a good person.

Same goes to management study.

Then why the hell does these subject ever exist in our education life??

Another thing I sick,is I got

 the worst personality,over "confidence"

Things that I really knew I dont like to remind it again n again.

people go study this,

I go study others that unrelated in my current study.

Is this good or bad?

(True feeling :I really don't care whether you got a 4.0 cgpa in your exam or what)

What I really care is how much knowledge I possesed.

Speaking of that,

Did people ever realize that sometimes "knowledge" that you got are fake??

even maths in Malaysia education is quite sick

what they teach is giving you a formula, and call you to applied it in certain question..

they didn't explain to us how those smart "ass" came out this formula.

N why n what the purpose of using this formula in our reality??

Did they ever teach you?

Ya, honest speaking should I continue to study and learn my own way?

Or continue be a good student and follow what lecturer said?

###

I

 

3 stars shine in the sky

Another boring day....

 Today my instinct told me that maybe I could have a fun day.

(Something unusual happens on me anyway)

But it seems not...

After classes, I went to gym with my friends.

 We have a good time with each other.

Especially, My friend, Andrew, have a good time flirt someone the entire day.

Anyway lets just call it a day.

Until 11pm

someone told me that 14th january is some1 birthday.

Guess who is this??

(Hints: Mr joe always called him "hairy".)

Bet u will know him, if u are attending Mr joe's class anyway.

Anyway...

Me and my group of "inactive" party members.

Came to the west lake and wait for the "star" to start the party.

Wait...wait...

43 minutes passed....

*finally  he came to rescue us*

There are so many little "stars" following the big "star"...

First, we start the ceremony song~ ~happy bday to u~~

Second, sacrifice the cake

and finally, take a group picture. *cheez*

*What a great moment for the start of the day.*

Everyone is enjoying and playing around.

Except me....

remain silent and looking on their happily faces.

*think back*

How many years did I take my own birthday as an ordinary day?

When is my last time to celebrate with my friends and make a party?

I guess the last time to celebrate with my friends is when I'm 6.

Ya, no joking.

Is been more then ten years I think from not getting any present from my friends in my birthday.

My family does not take my birthday seriously,

and never ever celebrate again since I'm eight.

even christmas, I'm not even receive any present before.

I always believe myself that I'm strong enough and can be walk alone all the time.

Things that totally prove that I'm wrong,

when people start to smile in their face.

why do they still can smile so happily like their own birthday?

why do they can share and have fun in this moment of time?

why they still can have fun even in this kind of environment?

Why happiness makes people feel good?

Why people always wanted to seek for happiness?

All of these question come to my mind.

It really prove that I'm always wrong for the whole time.

*back to the party*

Everyone is looking great and have fun.

Even the big star also feel touched and cried for all this warming moment.

We success to blew his heart. (gratz for all of us,I think.)

###

Btw,Happy Birthday to these 3 stars:

Prasath, alvin chan and sotong tang tang.

Hope that your wish may come true......

Another yam cha time @@lll

 Well...

 today nothing much, I just skip the whole day class purposely.

(Mum sorry, if Miss Wong still teaching  me and dint left from Utar, I propably wont skip her class)

 Is a sad news to heard that our stream C lovely maths lecturer have left us.

I mean every stream C students likes her (Ya, she is quite cute anyway), the way she teach us wont make us feel bored.

 She is a caring and responsible lecturer, that always care about her students (others too).

Anyway I just want to say to you, Miss Wong.

 "Thank you for teaching us maths and help us most of the time.

Even you have left us, we still wont forget the time that we share.....

Wish you a good luck and always be happy forever." :)

###

Well...

Another sad things is that one of my best friend said that he wan to study with me but he dint make it.

Nvm, is not his fault, me too, I'm not feeling to study these days.

Anyway...

The best thing for today is the moment that I spend my time with my friends at maple restaurant.

The whole plan is actually go yum cha at mamak but end up they decided to go to that restaurant.

That time when I reach there, I saw uncle william and a bunch of my friend. How coincident is this? ( hahaha..ha..ha..)

I went to his seat place, "pat kua" a bit.

*Wait a minute, where is ah sou? Why she is not with uncle?

Looks like ah sou have just went to another place and chat with her friends. I guess...*

Here she comes,

*looks like ah sou become prettier each day, every moment smiling with uncle.....darn it...when I get a girlfriend anyway?*

Well...

After all, we manage to have a happy time together.

I met a new cute girl named Joey (right?) and have a good time playing "Stack Em" with my friends.

There's 14 till 16 person in the party, I think. (Sorry cant mention and remember all of it.)

One of the most funniest moment, is I bet with my friend, saying if he manage to invite the girl,xxx,that he likes

I willing be naked and run around the basketball court.

After all, the time before I return to my "home" again. The last thing I did is went to his room and shouting xxx, xxx, xxx !!!  ^^ (Gratz you got her hp num)

Btw..

How come you are there, Eric??

*sign*

No more writting, I need to complete mr joe's work... oh my gosh!!!!

###

Go away!!! Dota curse

Come to think of it, I  unable to manage things that I wan to be all these times.

Every time I'm telling myself to study, work hard, to make my dreams come true.

Sure that's always someone to knock my mind door, calling me play Dota....Haiz

Maybe I will just quit it someday....Maybe....Maybe.

You too, guys... quit it before you will regret!

This is the curse....

By the way, my name is Jun Yuen, well you can call me jun or june if you like...

Currently, I'm studying foundation in arts in UTAR.

If you saw a zombie look's like guy that seems like very tired (I'm not OK?) and walk around day time, that's me.

I hate lonely but it likes me...

A boy always live alone without ever knowing what is the meaning of living.

 Ever since the day he born into this world, he always live and play alone.

He always try to leave from the hand of lonely.

 He always hope and pray to the god to have a little small brother to talk with and play with.

He always envy one of his best friend, xxx to have so many brother and sister to play with.

He came out a plan, every evening visit his friend's houses to play with his younger brother and sister.

However, once he return to his so called "home".

He return to his lonely life.

Thank you, xxx